Just a little update…..
I haven’t written a blog in so long. Depression once again is hitting me hard. Every time, I think I have it all figured out. It comes rocking hard like a wave.
Depression is so nasty. I hear these voices saying you are not good enough. Or these people really don’t like you. I have a lot of demons.
I have love/hate relationship with social media. I love the family and friends I have on there. But I tend to compare myself to other people. I need to stop it. Because at the end of the day, I am me.
I need to start working on loving myself more. Every time, I think I do. Depression slaps me across the face and tells me no you don’t. I don’t like feeling this way.
I am going to seek help. It is time for me to talk to a professional. I know this is personal. But I am done hiding it. I may be positive on social media but I hide my insecurities and anxiety very well.
Love and hugs,
I haven’t updated for awhile. I will try to blog more. My mental health is doing better than last year. Sometimes in life, you need to change your life your perspective on what is weighing you down.
I did exactly that. I get angry or upset over things that doesn’t really matter. I am working on it. I am also going to start to let things go as soon as they bother me. Especially at my job. Life is too short.
I am also working on my confidence and believing in myself. I admit I have low self esteem and low confidence in myself. I am always afraid to mess things up. Both at my job and personal life.
I will do better.
Katie Bug aka Princess Kitty Mew Mew
I haven’t written a blog in a long time. I am taking it day by day. My happiness has gone downhill. But I am slowly going to bring that up.
This past week has been hard for me. But I will get through it. Actions can hurt as much as words. I learned that the hard way.
I learned this both in personal life and at work. You choose your actions. Not somebody else. Own up to them.
If you treat somebody bad, don’t blame the other person. You chose to act the way you did to that person. You chose to react to that mean customer the way you did.
I have so much love. Sometimes I forget that my actions can hurt other people. I am going to try to think about my actions more. Because at the end of the day, I am not a bad person.
I will remain positive and show love to others. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. Be careful of your actions. Because you never know what effect it has on those people.
I haven’t written a blog in a while. My mental health is climbing back up. I had a tough few months. I don’t like being negative. I love being positive. Sometimes you have to take away yourself from the situation and really think about it. Do you want to live being sad all of the time or do you want to be happy?! I am choosing to be happy.
I thought about what was making me sad. At the end of the day, it wouldn’t matter from a year from now. I know my worth. I am ready to become me again. I lost my way. I lost being me.
I was always the positive lady. I didn’t really like myself the last few months. I was in a dark spot in my life. It was affecting my relationships and my work.
I am me. I am ready to be the positive lady I am.
I am back with a blog. I am doing good. Taking it day by day. I have turned to my loved ones. They have been here for me. I know I can always count on them. My husband has also been my rock and is always here for me.
I also got this journal in the mail a few days ago. It is a gratitude journal. You write down what you are thankful for. I usually do only one thing and write a paragraph on why I am thankful for it. There is also a place for affirmation. You can also color in how happy you are. It is really helping me.
I also turned back to my faith again. I have to admit my faith hasnt been the greatest in the last few years. The last two days I have been reading from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and reading from My Daily Catholic Bible. I also downloaded the app YouVersion. I read the daily Bible verse. I also started two reading plans. This all has helped me so far.
I am going to try to meditate next. That seems to help people. I also plan on reading books on depression and anxiety.
I am loved. I am worthy. I am important. I can do this. ❤️ ❤️
I haven’t written a blog in a long time. I got on Facebook first around 2008 or 2009. I was all for it. I loved it. Then, it became too much in the last few years. I felt like I was being judged by living my life to the fullest.
So, I decided to go on Twitter to see what the hype was about. I loved it. I even loved it more than Facebook. I felt like I could be the real me. I met some amazing people on there who I love so much. I was known on there for being positive and kindness.
Then, it became too much for me. My self worth and self esteem dropped. So, I deactivated my account for two days. Then, I missed it. I missed the interaction with the group of people. So, I went back on it.
Fast forward to last Sunday (8/12), I deactivated it once again. I stayed off it for five days. I had the best mental health days those five days in a long time.
I was on staycation from work. I enjoyed it. But once again, I missed my Twitter friends. I went back on it.
I just deactivated it again today. It might be for good. It was so hard to do. Because I have a group of friends on there that I met by just being social on there.
This isn’t a good bye. This is just see you later. I need to work on my self esteem and remember my self worth.
I will leave you with this.
You are loved. You are awesome. You rock. You are worthy. You are important. Princess Kitty Mew Mew loves you all.
I haven’t posted a blog recently. Well, my mental health since my last blog post had been up and down. Having depression can wear on a person. My mood goes happy to sad to angry.
My anxiety too has been a rollercoaster ride. I swear the last few weeks, my anxiety is high up there. Anxiety over work and social media. Anxiety how people perceive me.
My self worth and my confidence has been down. I worry about what people think of me. I try not to but I do. I tend to based my worth on how people see me. My confidence hasnt been the greatest. I am working on both of my self worth and confidence.
I have to remember I am worthy and don’t doubt my worth. I once again am worthy. I got whatever life throws at me. I can do it. I can have the confidence. I am a beautiful lady inside and outside. I am loved.
I don’t need to have somebody’s else opinion of me to determine my worth.
Peace and love,
This week is a emotional rollercoaster. Tomorrow marks 2 years since my Dad passed away. It was unexpected. He got really sick back in 2016. I admit I was in denial. It wasn’t until I went out to dinner and drinks with some of my siblings that it hit me that my Dad wasn’t okay. That he really was a sick man.
I couldn’t believe that he was going to pass away. Sometimes I am still in denial that both of my parents are gone. Then, there are moments in life that it hits me that he is gone. And that my Mom is gone as well. Nobody can prepare you for the loss of your parents. I can’t put into words how I feel.
My Dad was a one of a kind. He taught me about work ethic. He taught me to be confident. I am still working on the confident part. He taught me kindness. He taught me that love is the most important feeling in the world. To be loved and to love. That to cherish every moment with your loved ones.
Yes, I was afraid of that man sometimes. But at the end of the day, he truly was and is still a good father. He is still teaching me.
I want to make my parents proud of me. That is one of my biggest concern in life. Sometimes, I based my decisions on if this will make them proud or not.
Love and hugs,
Do you ever feel invisible to people you interact with on social media?! I do. Like you try to post what you think would make them see you on social media. Because that is the only way you interact with that person. Just for them not to give you the time of the day or they don’t see your post. Sometimes it due to the damn algorithm and maybe they don’t see your post or tweet. They only see you and interact with you when it is on their own terms.
My husband told me to journal my feelings and the anxiety I feel. So, here I am. I woke from sleep. Blogging my feelings. Anxiety is like a relationship that you don’t want to part of. But it creeps into your mind no matter what. It creeps into your life no matter how much you fight it.
You are better some days than other days. You don’t focus on the person. You don’t understand what it is about this person. But you just want to feel accepted and cool. Maybe it could be my insecurities coming to life. Relationships in my head are different than what others might think relationships are. At the end of day, I don’t need validation from this person or people.
I am real. I am not fake. I am visible. I have worth. I will be a friend for life.
Peace and love,
I never knew I had anxiety until the past year. I have anxiety. I worry about what others think of me. I am the type that puts my whole heart into a relationship. When that person doesn’t reciprocate, anxiety creeps up on me.
It isn’t fun to have anxiety. You sometimes forget your worth because of how people respond to you or when they don’t respond to you.
You also think am I not good enough for this person. What did I do wrong?! The answer is it isn’t you. It is that person. You are good enough. They just don’t see your worth.
People sometimes tend to want you in their lives when they want something. They know you would do anything. But when you want something, they don’t do want you want or be there for you.
I will leave you with this: focus on those people that know your worth.
Peace and hugs,